so yeah I actually got to talk to her today. uh yep. this one is gonna be pretty short. I considered telling my friends what happened, but honestly I'm tryna be lowkey out here. Running in the background yknow. I still have to get it out somewhere, though, which is what this website is for. So yeah, that's why I don't log every single event I go through, since I sometimes tell other people about what has happened and usually that's enough. It's only when I don't feel satisfied after talking about it is when I come here, so I don't end up just saying the same things about the same issues to other people. That's annoying fr.

I was chilling with ED at the eSports center playin some games. He was on league with his GOAT while I was playing DMC 3 (W game. Almost as good as Bayonetta). holy dude ED is a DEMON he was calling his support a pedophile and the enemy team bitches it was hilarious mannn he's cool. I got to a pretty good stopping point, so I decide to head out so I can work on some personal projects. And lo and behold, I see chem lab girl walking around.

Now don't get me wrong, I am VERY SELF AWARE on how weird and borderline creepy my random approaches can be. So while I wanted to talk to her, I couldn't ignore how awkward it would be, so I made myself a tiny bet. I was going to get food, and if the line was too long, THEN I'll head on back to my dorm. And if I just HAPPEN to see her, then I'll talk to her. But if the line was short, then I'll just eat lunch and wait till next week. This bet was a tinnnyyy bit biased; it was uh lunch rush so I already knew the line was going to be long. And it was, so back to the dorm I go

And yknow usually I walk but just this once I'll use my skateboard. Because I'm just sooo eager to work on my next project mmhm not so I could catch up to her or nothing. COINCIDENCE!! god this makes me sound so bad. who am I kidding I am bad, no MJ tho.

hey man I believe in fate. Not in a "perception is reality, if you will it then so be it" type way. More like, look at the world for what it is and based on that, find your path. Rather than trying to force a path onto the world. If it's supposed to happen, it will happen. If not, then it's not. So by submitting myself to chance and absurdity, it gives me way more motivation to pursue certain paths that open up as a result of a gamble. even if the dice were a tiny bit weighted...

ima be real I had to uh run a tiny bit to catch up but COINCIDENCE!!! COINCIDENCE!!! It crazy since we were in the EXACT same place as we were yesterday, but this time I locked TF in.

"Excuse me! Do you have a chem lab at 8 on Thursday?"

and then I start PANTING LIKE A DOG oh my GOD that was horrible. I think I was subconsciously trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness by presenting myself as vulnerable and, well, awkward. But in hindsight it just made me seem even worse; like I saw her and starting chasing after her T~T.

anywho she says yes, I ask if she transferred in or something (it was wayyyy past census day I don't know why I even assumed that in the first place), she said nah; she just didn't make it to the first two labs. I ask "oh, why?" but she doesn't hear me and the pressure is building up so I hit the "sorry do you got places to be? I'm not tryna interrupt you". she's like "oh no it's fine". we awkwardly stand around for a bit so I signal for her to keep walking and she's like "oh!". what am I on, man. then she asks me if I'm a transfer. I say nah, but I did skip Chem 1 so I'm a bit new. She's like "oh it shouldn't be too bad" or something I don't remember the pressure was in my eyes now.

I ask for her name, she gives it. I'm like "oh cool. I'm er Shrubs". for some reason I always say "er" before my name which makes it seem that it's a part of it, so I already know she didn't hear my actual name. Then I'm like "be seeing you!" and I skedaddle.

yeah kind of a nothing burger of an interaction. I should've kept talking to her. Or not? GOD I DON'T KNOWWWWW

She had a cool accent which I didn't expect. and honestly, she was slightly less pretty than I initially thought. And I mean that with NO SHADE, in fact that's AMAZING. Like she's still real pretty, don't get me wrong, but in a much more realistic way. I had a hyper-idealized version of her in my head based on the few glances I got which made me even more nervous. so it's a load off to know that she's an actual human being rather than Helen of Troy.

guess all I can do is wait now. I'll try to ACTUALLY talk to her before our lab. don't know how I'll do it but I'll figure it out.

oh, and I guess I said I was going to update a certain situation. Basically while I was writing the last log, I realized I was almost late for class. So I speed on over and bump into MONSTER GIRL. Complete chance encounter, like actually our timing and location were perfectly synced. I'm all like "DUDE YOU ACTUALLY EXIST??" and she's like "yuh" and daps me up (god DAMN she chill like that). but I had to get going to class so I couldn't actually talk for long. she says that if I want to reach her I should call, since she regularly deletes her text messages. SO THAT'S WHAT "KEEPING MY PHONE STERILE" MEANT WTH.

I finish up class and I'm debating whether or not I should call her. On one hand that's crazy pushy if I call her a literal hour after, and she could still be in class. But on the other, I had nothing going on and was going to get some food, so like this is preem time to catch up. And she's a commuter, so it's not like I can just call her whenever. had a whole council of shrubs arguing in my head while I was leaning on a lamp post. I hate texting with a burning passion, but I will admit it's the most ideal way to ask if someone's trying to hang out. Calling is just too INVASIVE god damn.

I call her, anddddd her phone is on DND. All that deliberation for nothing istg. For real, it's time to move on. Nothing against her, probably meant nothing by it. But there's only so much you can do if the other person isn't reciprocating. It's annoying, because I'm making such an active effort now because I felt like I made no effort before, but I definitely overcompensated here. Sayonara, Monster Girl.