Sorry for the cliffhanger; I was too busy making the video. Anyway I take a peep at their tiktok and see that they're a GIRL?!?!?! A FEMALE???!!?!?! HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA AWOOOOOOO- nah miss me with all that. Trust me this IS NOT going to be like that damn animation:
Did I hit you with some nostalgia? I literally found their YT channel commenting on some King of the Hill compliation video and got BLASTED with memories. God I hate reading those comments under the video, though. In fact I hate reading the comments on any couplepost: "hahaha guys [insert copy and paste joke about loneliness] amirite?!?!?!". WE GET IT YOU STACK NO PAPER AND GET NO PUSSY YOU DON'T GOTTA TELL US TWICE!!!!
I swear to you this isn't a stupid situation where I find a girl who likes all the things I like so now I must develop an unrequited crush on her and then get all angry and sad when she doesn't feel the same way back. Something something the friend zone doesn't exist blah blah. I have absolutely ZERO interest in romance. I unironically can't really see myself in any romantic relationship any time soon. It would have to be someone real special, and even then our bond would probably end up being a bit unorthodox. I'm not really the type to do traditional lovey dovey things to prove that I'm indeed fond of my SO. No grand dates, no matching pfps, no constantly talking about them/posting about them. Probably a complete deal breaker for the more romantic types and that's fine; I wish them nothing but happiness GOD I am such a good person feel the warmth of my heavenly glow.
Alright time to get off the pedestal and get to the point. I've established that I don't really care for love. Cool. But if you've read my other logs then you know that I can get caught up in my own head about the IMPLICATIONS of my interactions and it always ends up biting me in the ass. I KNOW it's completely normal to talk to people about your mutual interests! I KNOW that I'm not doing anything weird or suspicious by just talking to a women!!! I've learned my lesson with Rammy and I do not intend on making the same mistake again. And I hate that it feels that since I'm writing about this, I must be taking it crazy seriously and I actually care a lot about this irrelevant fact. When in reality, I'm just self aware after seeing a stupid amount of dumb social media posts about girls complaining that their "male best friend" actually wanted to bang 'em and it makes me shake my head in disgust. C'mon guys, do better. Like, I'm not trying to be some woke asshole or something, but…women…women DON'T deserve this (Never change, Logan Paul. Actually, please please do).
As usual, I'm hoping that me acting how I would normally act with anyone isn't going to be misinterpreted. The last thing I would want to do is contribute to the narrative that platonic relationships between men and women cannot exist. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST SEE PEOPLE AS PEOPLE GOD DAMNNNN (yeah yeah I see the hypocrisy once again I'M JUST SELF AWARE!!!)
Moving on. I wonder how I'm gonna actually take initiative and progress our friendship? Since school hasn't started yet I can only exclusively talk to them online. On one hand, I don't want to get TOO ahead of myself and start making friends before uni because then I might end up in that awkward situation when you're just starting something and hang around people you don't really mess with all too much, but you're all still new and trying to find your place so you deal with it. Then when you do find your group its kinda awkward to see the guys you initially spent time with. I know it's a completely natural process but I really want to CHOOSE who I'm friends with heading into college and be much more lowkey. Gimme one or two friends and I'll be as happy as a clam (? Is that the actual expression??)
But on the other hand, it's YAKUZA!!! You know how long I've waited to meet another Yakuza fan who has ACTUALLY PLAYED THE DAMN GAMES??? Seriously, I think Yakuza has unfortunately joined the ranks of game franchises whose "fans" only know the memes and haven't actually played the game. Unrelated, but one time my friend was telling me about his buddy who loves Yakuza as much as I do but for some reason NEVER THOUGHT TO INTRODUCE US TO EACH OTHER. The dude graduated before us and probably died in a tragic fishing accident maybe idk.
Eh, it's best not to overthink it. I'll try to be normal and see how it goes without expecting anything. ahhhh I love you, shrubster.neocities.org!!! the one place where I can share my thoughts without anyone I know looking at them.
...right?