Okay. I hope I can get my point across without sounding like a complete misandrist simp or a raging misogynist incel. Trying to be the enlightened centrist voice of reason here, though I will admit this is from a cishet male perspective.

Seems that my algorithm actually hates me and has been recommending me all sorts of "male loneliness epidemic" type videos from both sides. God where do I even start.

I do believe that society in general is getting lonelier. I believe that everyone is going through it and it's pointless to make it a suffering Olympics. I also believe, however, that it's important to acknowledge the issues on both men and women's sides of things rather than just dismiss them entirely.

As a big strong burly man myself, god DAMN it's tough out here. Especially when you lack any real positive male role model. Feels like you're being dragged in a million different directions at once and if you choose the "wrong" one, someone is going to hate you. Even if you recognize the benefits men hold and sympathize with women's struggles, the most you get is a pat on the back from Stacy while she gets dicked down by Chad. Kidding, kidding. Kinda.

I would LOVE to just hit the "well all this gender war bs exists exclusively online. I should just completely ignore it and live my life around real people". And that's what I did! I lived my life, seeing people as people first and foremost, and tried to just be myself. But I can't help but feel that as much as people hate to admit it, there is a real basis to the gender issues we've been having. And these issues have been intensified by the online discourse, because who would've guessed that people are influenced by what they see online?!?!?! When the average person spends >5 hours scrolling, there's bound to be some bleed-through between the internet and reality.

Ok, here comes the "incelspeak". My main gender issue is the lack of accountability from women, and the lack of self-respect men have. Let me explain let me explain.

I guess it would be best to start off with my own situation. I've mentioned how I don't really care for romance. It would be nice to have a girlfriend for sure, but whatever happens, happens. If I end up a KHV wizard, then alright. If my ideal 10/10 alt muscle mommy who likes everything I do confesses her love to me the day after I publish this, then that's also alright. The reason I'm so laidback with this stuff is because true romantic love is a very beautiful, but very rare thing. People love to pull out the "well there's 8 billion people out here, you'll find your special someone!" knowing damn well that it's total BS.

One: You're limited to people in your "immediate" area, whether that be geographically or community-wise

Two: Gets narrowed down even further because you have to be in a situation where you can interact with these people on a regular basis. Through hobby or work or whatever.

Three: You're further limited by people who share your interests, or at least vibe with you

Four: And the most important thing, THEY HAVE TO LIKE YOU BACK!!

To even get to step 2 is a statistically improbable; step 4 is nigh impossible. If you're anything close to an individual that has interests outside of consuming media, you're kind of cooked. You simply cannot force this process, it can only really happen through chance. And the people that skip step 3 are the reason we have a 50% divorce rate. Boomers that went for any pretty lass that caught their eye at the milkshake bar and getting married at 21. Youngsters talking about how their ex was the absolute devil; making you wonder "wait so did you ever actually like this fella?". Society puts romance on a pedestal. Who cares about self-actualization or having passions that make you grow as an individual? Nah, being alone is something to be feared and can only be remedied by having a significant other. And this is exactly where the problems I have begin.

Both men and women perpetuate this hyperfixation on romance. I've talked to and seen a lotta women who don't do ANYTHING. "hehe I like hanging out and bed-rotting hmu!!!" There's a plethora of men who are like this too don't get me wrong, but the major difference is that girls get a pass. These actual lobotomettes (n. female form of lobotomite) will still have lines of (mostly crappy) dudes hitting them up. Now I COMPLETELY understand how this sucks for women. Dying from thirst in the desert is just as bad as dying from drowning in the ocean. The only thing is, though, is that it seems that lobotemettes have sonic-style air bubbles in the form of actually half decent guys.

I hate to get too anecdotal here but let's take good old RED as an example. Believe it or not, Red actually had a girlfriend; let's call her Manic. Manic is immature, mentally ill, uses people as tools for emotional relief. I am not shaming her for these characteristics, but it would be unwise for a person like this to enter a relationship, right? Well she did. With Red. And as you'll expect, it was complete hell for all parties involved. Red definitely isn't perfect, but the amount of BS she pulled even had the damn school librarian telling him to stop seeing her. But Red stuck with Manic, even after she broke up with him, and complained constantly about how she'll tell him about all the dudes she was seeing.

People like Manic kinda suck and shouldn't be dating around. But guys like Red, out of fear of loneliness, still chase after 'em. These women can continue to be complete douches because there be some half decent, lonely guy willing to put up with them. And these women also seem to control the mainstream online spaces for girls. Supporting each other's toxic behaviors in rebellion of the patriarchy, while unintentionally supporting the patriarchy by getting with manipulative but good looking assholes.

This is a VERY specific subset of women. A group of crappy people who just happen to be female. But it seems that both men and women cannot look past gender. "Nice guys" complain about these lobotomettes while putting them on a pedestal. Women in general see annoying ass "Nice guys" and start applying their negative traits to every single dude out there. Normal people aren't like this - well, shouldn't be like this - but you'll be hard pressed to find them because they're either in happy relationships or are just doing their own thing. I can only think of ONE friend who has a relationship that isn't excessive limerance or pure hatred. Just a healthy romance. But since he's a lowkey fella who sees his girl as a person, he gets no recognition. No one cares unless you post about how much you obsessively love your SO or how much you hate your toxic ex.

It's especially annoying how these immature, barely developed individuals start lecturing others as if they are "superior" for having more exes than a DMX song. "It's not that hard guys!! Just be nice!!!". "You need to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another!!!". The lack of self awareness is baffling.

The blackpill is real man, the game is completely broken, and it shouldn't be crazy to say that. The lobotomites got one thing right, though. There is MORE TO LIFE THAN ROMANCE. I hate how they are willing to admit this but still hand wave any romantic troubles. "Maybe it's your personality? Just be confident! Maybe if you saw women as people you wouldn't struggle?" and then go on to talk about an ex who embodies the exact OPPOSITE of whatever they parrot. It's foolish to believe that imperfect, flawed human beings should be objective measures of character. Hell, girls loved TED BUNDY of all people! We're all biased and subjective, and even my opinions now shouldn't be seen as fact (even though they're the closest thing to fact).

This issue wasn't as bad 15-20 years ago. Even a guy like me could've found himself in some sort of relationship if we were back in the good ol' early 2000s. I implied this at the very beginning but this gender war bs is just a symptom of social atomization and everything moving to the internet. The wise gentlemen below voices my thoughts perfectly and succinctly, so I shall display his musings:

"There's actually tons of sub 5 women who have a realistic self-image... but they all still think that it's the 8+ men they should be competing for — and so conclude that they won't possible be able to pull "any" men, and so they opt out of the dating market entirely.

No, these aren't femcels. These women love the idea of fucking men! They just spend all day jorking to "dark romance" novels, AI boyfriends, and otome gacha games, rather than ever going out to a club or registering for Tinder or whatever. Because they think those approaches "won't work" (which is true insofar as they think the only men that exist are 8+ men.)

The annoying thing is that these sane below-average women used to be forced out into the open by the need to go to work, go shopping, hang out with their friends, attend church, etc — and so the more average guys could find these girls in those places, and pull them. But atheism + remote work + online shopping + group chats/online games have served as enablers for them to literally drop out of every possible avenue to being found by any man potentially interested in them."

-xileine, redditor

I don't know how to find these normal ass folks. They would never post on social media, they keep to themselves, they're just like me fr. I guess I'll wish upon a star and hope for the best. But what's more important is to have actual interests and friends. It's so crazy how some people can't conceive any form of love outside of romantic love. Like I'd argue that sometimes, honest friendship can be more pure than actual romance. It isn't diluted by physical attractiveness or needless exclusivity based on arbitrary standards. Maybe what all of us need is a ride or die brother/sister whose always got your back, rather than someone to hold us and give us head pats. Not to mention the love you can have for a hobby or interest, a truly unconditional love that embodies what love should be in the first place; an absence of expectation. Simply caring for something because you want to, for it's own sake.

I'll just leave yet another passage of enlightenment to end this off.

"The problem with thinking that respect will get you dating success is that it puts women on a pedestal and cultivates a sense of inner entitlement. Women aren’t karmic slot machines where you act good and you get rewarded with relationships, they’re people who have incredibly heterogeneous backgrounds, likes, dislikes, strengths, flaws, etc. Everyone loves to tell themselves that all misogynistic men must be incels who don’t get laid but that simply isn’t true. Some of the most misogynistic men you’ll meet are popular, successful, and get laid all the time. It really has no bearing on success on it’s own, but Reddit likes to act like it does because it helps Redditors sleep at night, just like any other iteration of just world fallacy

At the end of the day, it’s important to stand up for your values and be respectful because it’s right. Nothing else in life is guaranteed. The world isn’t fair, and that’s just the way it is. The only thing you can do is be the best possible version of yourself regardless."

-its_da_boys, another redditor

You're not a loser incel for acknowledging that we live in a superficial ass world. Like I said the black pill is real and most things are out of your control. You only become an incel chud if you continue to play a game that isn't working out. You can't change the hand your dealt, but you can always leave the table and find a new one. The time will come, or maybe the time won't come. Who knows. Whatever happens, happens. In the meantime, I'll keep making animated videos, updating this goofy website, and trying (and failing) to make friends. It's gon be alright.