OH MY GOD

I have so much on my mind it's not even funny. I have a journal and all that but it takes ages to write anything down and my handwriting sucks balls so if it ever ends up in a museum it's definitely going into some "ancient heiroglyphics" section or some bs. "This text belonged to a dyslexic ass mf whose A's look like Z's. Perhaps it was Helen Keller's personal diary". yeah yeah I kid around but man this is liberating. People who say "idk how people have journals" are lucky as hell man. Either they don't have too much to think about, get to release their thoughts through their "friends" and "partner" (LMAOOOO), or are much better with dealing with them than I do. Like seriously, don't get the wrong idea. These videos ONLY exist for me to get these damn thoughts out of my head. There's a weird, almost negative connatation that comes with the word "YouTuber". Everytime I hear that someone I know is one, I instantly think low quality nothing content that gets 60 views at most filmed on an Iphone 4. Which would be cool and nostalgic back in like 2009 but since it's 2024 it just feels like you're trying too hard especially if you have sub goals. Either you embrace the old camcorder aesthetic (which only works if you're a cute asian girl [seriously literally no one else? I'll expand on this in another entry]) or you just seem kinda...sad? Don't get me wrong anyone that uploads because they just like making videos has my upmost respect. But everyone I'VE seen talking about their channel have these expectations that are just never going to come true with what they're posting. Sorry man, this is the real world, people aren't gonna watch your 5 hour unedited playthrough of Banjo Tooie. only annoying streamers who've been doing it since 2013 can do that man. I DESPERATELY don't want to be that guy to y'all. Call me an animator, NOT a YouTuber (real DOAWK vibes here huh).

Where was I? I type these according to my inner monologue so it's pretty conversational in nature. literally just writing whatever comes into my mind. I wanted to make these voice-recorded rants but I always got sidetracked and forgot what I was talking about. So just imagine my voice. To add to that, I try to write these in a pretty entertaining fashion. Like I'll complain, but in a "down-on-their-luck loser" type way. Not "uncovered Columbine pages" type way, you know? Everything I talk about on here I find funny in some way, even my worst failures. This isn't going to be a "serious vent page" or whatever, just the musings and rants of a dumbass who thinks too much. I'll add little images and comics to some entries to show that, because ranting alone is kinda lame. Anyone and everyone goes on "rants", it's a whole genre of video for who's sake. It's too EASY to turn on a camera and just complain about my problems of which EVERYONE else has. No one wants to see that, unless you're a cute asian girl (alright alright I'll stop). I'd rather complain through animations and jokes, which is uh why I made this website. Animation TAKES AGES. And there's so much I have to say that I can't feasibly fit it into a 6 minute video. So, two paragraphs in, I introduce SHRUSBTER!!!... the website.

Luckily since I'm an actual genius I planned for each video to cover a very "general" topic about something that's been on my mind. So rather than making a hyper-specific video about the time I had a ass-smacking battle with some dude in front of the school, I INSTEAD made a video about my general attitude towards and experiences with the people around me...using a hyperspecific incident but POINT STILL STANDS. Same with my feelings on my racial identity, love, the internet, all that. So using those videos as a "base", I can now write lil entries that can get all my thoughts down about that specific topic in like an afternoon. Kinda like when a cartoon ends but they make comics afterwards continuing the story because it's way easier than animation (regular show). This gives me incentive to make more videos, because more videos means more general topics I can write about here, but I still have an outlet that doesn't take 2 weeks to get out. If you're confused just click on the most recent entry above, you freaking lobotmite.

In summary, I AM NOT A YOUTUBER. honestly this website is the main thing, youtube is just a underground, lowkey, free and convenient video hosting website that I use which just happens to have 1 billion users. I have SO much to catch you guys up on so the first things I put on here will just be retellings of stupid stories that provide context to my current views on things. Also I hate the parasociality that results from the "creator-viewer" dynamic online so please please please HIT ME UP!!! if you're a creator, anyway. I need more creative people to talk to mannnn everyone around me spends their time either consuming media, talking to their friends about media, or some BS extracurricular that they'll only engage with through media after they graduate high school. but THESE guys get the girls and don't get teased what a joke. lotta the things I say on here are going to sound like loser incel rhetoric to anyone who doesn't understand, but trust me I do not have that incel rage. I'm just a loser! Now that's a red flag, huh.

Look around or whatever. "personal corner of the internet" and all that.